So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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