he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
