i may or may not be watching the land before time
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
