Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
