There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
