I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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