hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
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Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize