omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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