I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
