the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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