just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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