Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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