so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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