I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
