OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
