Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
