And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize