this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
