Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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