Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
