seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
