I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
