she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
