do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
