I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
