Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
