Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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