i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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