im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
