But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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