she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
