i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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