I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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