You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
