Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
