Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
