This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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