am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i drank out of a bidet.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
