she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
