Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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