Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
