I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dick very happy bro
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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