I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize