i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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