she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
