I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
