Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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