I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
