nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
