A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
