i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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