Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
