She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I love you.
Bad choice
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
