So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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