You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
not ubering you a puppy
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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