Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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