Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
