i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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