the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
