You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
