look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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