oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
