We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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