At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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