I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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