dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Never let your siblings swipe right.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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