Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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