I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize